Okay let me start this off by explaining that I really don’t know anything about Aquaman other than his lack of fashion sense and stupid sounding power. I’ve never read any comics about him nor made any effort to learn about him because I JUST DON’T CARE.
My hatred for Aquaman is purely on principle at this point. It began with my stating to my friends, “When I get married, I’m all about having the groom and groomsmen being dressed as their super hero of choice under their tuxes, except Aquaman because he looks dumb.”
Of course my friends decided to be dicks and started insisting that they will force my groom to dress as Aquaman, thus beginning my salty hatred for the seaman (You can’t see it but I’m grinning and cackling at my own shitty puns. My anxiety is rolling her eyes at me and calling me a “loser”).
Fast forward to today, I still don’t like Aquaman but I’m curiously interested in the impending film because Jason Momoa is FIIIIIIIIINE (gimme some more Momoa I always say [“Jesus god please stop with the shitty puns!!!!!” my anxiety is groaning, “You’re not as funny as you think!”])
I’m chatting on IM with one of my best friends, Doc, who brings up Aquaman and of course my reaction was as follows:
Me: AQUAMAN IS THE WORST AND I WILL NEVER LIKE HIM
EVEN IF JASON MOMOA LOOKS FINE AS HELL!
Doc: THANK YOU!
Me: HE IS LITERALLY THE WORST