Beauty in the eye-lined bolder

The internet is a dangerous evil place. I’m not just talking about porn, movie spoilers, and/or illegal shopping (Though I did once fall prey to torrents….. I was desperate for Downton Abbey episodes at the time… Don’t judge me….).

I’m talking about the horrific world of ‘beauty tips’. THERE ARE TOO FREAKIN MANY! And most of them contradict each other! Some say to use this certain drugstore product that’s reasonably priced, while others condemn people for using them because of the ‘beauty black market’ (OH YES, there is such a thing….).

Moreover, how am I supposed to find the time to do all the steps involved in making my hair ‘angel soft’ by using a conditioning treatment (is that where I leave my conditioner in for an obnoxiously long period of time so I smell like a laundromat all day?). Why on earth would I leave my hair in painful pin curls overnight and look exhausted the next day while my hair MIGHT look great if I do it right (BTW there are remedies for the exhausted look too that involve about 100 prep steps before application)?

THERE ARE TOO MANY FREAKIN THINGS! Occasionally I find myself on the path thinking on the age old sentiment of “if only humans didn’t give a shit about appearances”. Well… that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

I can’t complain too much, because I still read these articles, sites, and tips in my constant search to better my physical appearance. I like looking my best! What the hell is wrong with that?

I like the feeling of walking into work with smooth legs, perfectly lines eyes, full eyelashes, shiny lips, and perfectly styled hair. Hell it makes me feel like a fucking badass. I am 5’9.5″ with the body of an Amazonian warrior should I feel like holding the posture (lets be real, I slouch my shoulders from years of feeling awkwardly tall). I love feeling like I could look one person in the eye, cock my eyebrow a certain way, smirk, and have them WITHIN MY POWER!!!!!! It’s a really good feeling to have when you’re aware of your natural lack of allure…

I’m not sure what the point of this whole post was. Between my rant about the overabundance of beauty tips and my love of looking baddassingly (yes that is now a word) good, I lost my train of thought…. Oh look! YouTube makeup tutorials!!!!


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