Screaming Ke$ha at Mormons

I’m fresher than that Gucci

Them boys they want my coochie

I say “No, I am no hoochie!

-Crazy Kids by Ke$ha

After my panic attack the other day, I decided to get out of town and go somewhere new I have never been before: Pullman, WA. One of my best friends, Amy (Who also is my editor for this blog [she’s also just all around the best]), had had a hard week previously in having to oversee the euthanasia of several sheep for work. We’d talked earlier in the week about my coming to visit, but after my panic attack I knew I needed a break and miniature vacation.

The drive from my apartment to Amy’s in Pullman is about four and a half hours. I downloaded Jenny Lawson’s audiobook, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir), and made a long playlist (including my new favorites Me & The Rhythm by Selena Gomez and Wild (feat. Alessia Cara) by Troye Sivan) to enjoy on my road trip.

I love solo road trips. I visit Amy frequently in her home town of Pendleton, OR but had yet to see her apartment in Pullman where she was currently located for work. I adored the long hours on the road, taking in views while listening to music, books, or even just silence. I have always found my deepest meditations have happened by myself in my car.

This trip was no less satisfying than the others. I headed out yesterday morning around 11:30, stopped at McD’s for breakfast and set off on my trip. Midway through Snoqualmie Pass, there was a twenty six minute delay in traffic due to a three car collision up ahead. While others around me were visibly peeved to be stuck in traffic, I made the most of it.

As I inched along, at one point I found myself right alongside a truck transporting a herd of cows. In no less than a minute did I have a grin on my face as I rolled down the window and made eye contact with one bovine, “Hey, don’t you wish we could moo-ve faster?” I giggled, not giving a damn that I was making bad puns to a cow, “TIME TO GET A MOO-VE ON!”  I cackled gleefully. I never enjoy myself more than when I’m by myself with an animal nearby to blankly stare at the crazy lady laughing by herself.

Eventually I got unglued from traffic, leaving the road wide open for the rest of my trip. I arrived at Amy’s in the early evening and fell in love with a girl named Widget. Amy opened the door to her apartment and my eyes immediately fell on the fuzzy lump in her arms, “HELLOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” I immediately zeroed in on the Kitten and forgot all about my best friend. She’s a 1 month old tabby, with wide curious eyes and a penchant for chewing on my thumb; I was head over heels in love with her. Amy is fostering her while she recovers from a cold, I became dead set on adopting Widget as soon as she was out of Amy’s care. However, today I found out she is already set to be adopted by a family. Even though my mind has already conjured an entire life with Widget, I’m really glad she already has a home ready to welcome her.

Amy and I had a blast catching up at dinner in Moscow, Idaho (I’m still disappointed we didn’t fly to Russia when Amy told me the restaurant was in Moscow…) and spent the evening fawning over Matthew Macfayden’s delicious brooding in Pride and Prejudice.

This morning we got up late and met our friend, Sarah, and explored the Moscow farmer’s market (Three words: Lemon Curd Crepes). The day was perfect as we explored booths in the sunshine, Amy picked up a bottle of Huckleberry mead which we took back to her place to enjoy while making commentary over the rigid stillness of Richard Madden’s dong in Cinderella (Which is one of my favorite movies {Not because of Richard Madden’s penis [which is quite impressive and appears to have a gravity of it’s own]}).

We met Sarah again and went out for pizza and drank wine. I order a flight of white wine, which included 3 well poured glasses. So I was a bit buzzed after dinner, taking over as DJ in Amy’s car as she drove us to go get Fro Yo and some bottles of wine to drink at her place. I was in the middle of rapping Crazy Kids by Ke$ha when Sarah pointed two Mormon boys walking on the sidewalk of the road we were on.

Without pausing, I rolled down my car window and as we passed the boys screamed, “THEM BOYS THEY WANT MY COOCHIE!” The car swerved a little as Amy started laughing and Sarah cackled in the back seat. I grinned maniacally as I kept rapping and singing along to the song, “We are the crazy kids!”

I’m sitting on Amy’s guest bed right now writing this out, looking over the last two days, and I’m so thankful to have the opportunity to drive out to see my best friend and have insane adventures. Where I can let my crazy fly without fear of critics or judgement. Being a stranger in a town full of people for less than 24 hours gave me the freedom to completely relax and be myself with my amazing friends to cheer me on. This trip was exactly what I needed.



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