I’ve been thinking a lot about self-worth today. Not in a negative way, but just the things that I do to increase my self-worth. For some people, wearing certain clothing and outfits increases their self-confidents, for others competing professionally in sporting events does it. I know some who believe their worth is only in their body and appearance, where others find it in education and learning.
For me? I find my self-worth in making people happy. Laughter is my favorite drug, anytime I can make people laugh I shoot that shit up fast. Growing up I never felt too self-conscious of my appearance, nor did I feel the need to be the smartest kid in the room. I didn’t want to be the most beautiful or popular girl in class, I just loved goofing off and making people laugh.
For a while I felt like there were two types of girls; Super smart girls and super pretty girls. Then there was the lucky third category where some girls were both pretty and smart. I fell in non of the above. I couldn’t pinpoint what it was that trapped my mind into only seeing three kinds of women, but for a while I felt pretty worthless for not being able to fit into any of the categories.
Now, at 24 years old and several years of therapy and life lessons, I can clearly see that I, as well as every single person on this planet, fit into oddly unique categories completely of their own. I look back at times when I really felt like I was worth something, even in my dark times, and found all of my self-worth has been tied to the joy and happiness of the world around me. I find complete satisfaction in being able to invoke positivity and happiness in others, especially in laughter and levity.
Thinking about what your self-worth is tied to is a good stepping stone to learning self-love/fulfillment. But learning about where other’s tie their self-worth could perhaps facilitate compassion and appreciation for how we all find ways to feel loved and worth the lives we are granted on this planet.