Generated Poetry: The Formulation of Love

I’m on this kick where I use a word generator to give me 6 random words that I incorporate into a poem. I imagine I’ll be posting many of these, so bear with me (or not…. this is my website after all. So if you don’t like this, fuck you, go somewhere else to read garbage poetry that stinks more than mine!)

Generated words: Afternoon, Imposter, wept, Serum, Formulation, Deplorable.


The formulation of love can be rather tricky

It suffers from a deplorable lack of compassion

It’s also often ironically witty…

A cure-all serum does not exist

Safe for the hours in the afternoon I’ve wept

Over memories of when I was last kissed.

I feel like an imposter in my own head

Pretending I don’t have these memories

Of you, me, and our love you killed, dead.



For more spontaneous stupidity, follow my twitter @JoyPearson

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This is all Jenny Lawson’s fault

So…. something amazingly unexpected happened…. and I’m still too emotional to write about it, so I’m just gonna go on the record and say “THIS IS ALL JENNY LAWSON’S FAULT!” And post the video of my reaction for you all to watch and understand.

Follow me on twitter @JoyPearson for more emotional shenanigans 

My Movie Madness

So…… today is a difficult one to swallow. I’ve been in a deep denial over the state of politics in our country. I don’t want to acknowledge what is happening, even though it’s impossible to ignore.

So today I’ve decided to distract myself in the best way I personally know how: films. 

I adore films, I watch at least 2-3 films a day and am always looking forward to new films coming up in theaters and netflix. I really love to watch the same films repeatedly, a practice a lot of my friends and family don’t understand. It gives me comfort to see characters I know and love, I find familiarity in the storylines and enjoy quoting my favorite lines. 

So to bring some comfort to myself, I’m going to start a list of my favorite rewatchable films and include why each film brings meaning to me. It’s going to be an ongoing list, I’ll update it regularly, but I hope that those who are reading will comment to suggest their favorite comfort films for me to check out. 



Godzilla (1998 starring Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Hank Azaria)

I’m starting off with a quirky one that a lot of people really love to hate. My first memory of seeing this film was in a hotel room in Canada, we were visiting family and my Papa (my paternal grandfather) had come to spend some time with us. My brother and I had been flipping through the television channels when we came across a gigantic lizard making a nest out of Manhattan. I had never seen anything like it outside Jurassic Park, and I was absolutely in love with it. 
My brother and I can quote this movie backwards and forwards, we watched it until the VHS tape literally broke (and even then we still watched it despite the fuzzy picture quality). I’ve owned every version of the film (VHS, DVD, Digital Download, Blu-Ray). In the 1st grade I excitedly took my Godzilla lunchbox to school, ignoring the teasing and stares I got from all the other kids for my extreme love of this oversized lizard. 

 A lot of people hate the film, and most of them really enjoy telling me how bad it is, but haters and gonna hate and I’m gonna keep on enjoying the hell out of something that (to me) is so great.


The Sword in the Stone (1963) 

 Oh man, where do I begin? Anachronistic references to the future? Archimedes, a highly educated owl? The Magnificent Marvelous Mad Madam Mim? This has been a film that I’ve constantly returned to for smiles and laughter. Whenever I feel bad I find myself humming “To and fro, stop and go, that’s what makes the world go round.”

 It’s bright and fun, full of color and life. It teaches lessons in taking control of your destiny and educating yourself beyond the restrictions of social standing and popular opinion. Though really, the Wizard’s duel is one of the coolest things Disney has ever animated.
Sabrina (Starring Julia Ormond, Harrison Ford, Nancy Marchand, Greg Kinnear)
 I’m gonna be honest, I’ve never seen the Audrey Hepburn version. I know, it’s a crime! But ever since I was browsing Harrison Ford films on netflix and came across this gem, I’ve never been able to bring myself to watch any other version. John William’s score is as beautiful and iconic as any other film he’s done. The sets are lavish and full of color and personality as we explore the grand Larrabee estate and follow Sabrina on her journey of self discovery to Paris. 

 Harrison Ford is charming playing essentially a richer version of his grumpy self. He wears Indiana Jones glasses while in a tux that makes me swallow my tongue every time he enters the Solarium. Julia Ormond is glorious as a quiet mousy wide-eyed girl who finds empowerment within herself whilst exploring feelings of unrequited love for undeserving men. This movie has me constantly dreaming of going off to Paris to walk along the Seine until I find a bridge that I love, where I will go to daily with my journal to sit and listen to the river and keep our secrets between us. 

 The overall lesson of the film is so eloquently expressed that I’ve carried it in my heart ever since. On the subject of unrequited love and crushes, a French woman tells Sabrina, “Illusions are dangerous people, they have no flaws.” This is so very true.


Only You (starring Marissa Tomei, Bonnie Hunt, Robert Downey Jr., Fisher Stevens)

 I new the name Robert Downey Jr. for years, but I never saw a face to pair with the name. I had absolutely no idea who he was, other than he was an actor who had some drug issues. I was up on a Saturday evening flipping through my movie channels when I stopped on TBS; A movie was just beginning but I’d miss the announcement of the title. One of my favorite games was trying to guess the film that was playing if I missed the title sequence. I saw Robert Downey Jr.’s name flash up as a star, and my curiousity was piqued. 

 The first time he appeared on screen felt a lot like the first time I saw a future crush: my heart completely stopped. He’s charming and handsome, quirky and funny as hell. I don’t condone the character’s actions, but I do get a good long laugh from watching him charm his way through Italy.


The Town (starring Ben Affleck, Rebecca Hall, Jeremy Renner, John Hamm, Blake Lively)

Loving Ben Affleck was never hard for me to do. Sure he’s had his ups and downs in film roles, but when he wears both hats as an actor AND a director he is able to do astounding things. Set in his beloved Boston, Affleck plays a former hockey player who’s in the business of robbing banks with his buddies. He falls in love with one of the victims of a robbery and struggles to figure out how to get out of the game and restart his life. 

 All around an amazing film, the story has so much heart and is acted so well by an amazing cast. I’ve watched it hundreds of times, it always makes me hold my breath with nervous anticipation. 


Frankie and Johnny (starring Michelle Pfeiffer and Al Pacino)

This movie is how I fell in love with Clair de Lune. Their chemistry is explosive, Al and Michelle make electric magic when they share the screen with each other. The story is of a man recently released from prison who gets a job working as a fry cook in a New York diner. There he meets Frankie, a waitress who has no time for him and turns him down at every turn, until she finds herself ready to let someone into her life again. 

 Told with heart and humor, the film tackles deep and heavy subjects while showing you the beautiful small quirks in life that make you smile. With a fantastic supporting cast, this is my favorite Garry Marshall film.

This is an ongoing list I plan to update as often as I watch and expand my film library. 

Who are the People?

Who are the people you think of and take action to meet when you’re bored and alone? When you have that itch to go out and do something but you don’t want to go alone. The people whose presence you can stand for long periods of time without wanting to claw your ears off and find an empty closet to hide in for a moments peace.

Who are the people you call while in the midsts of devastation? The ones who will pick up the phone and you can fall apart right then and there, and they’ll speak calmly until you’re coherent enough to tell them what’s wrong.

Who are the people who’s physical contact is never turned away? Whose hugs are a welcome breathe of air and their shoulder is at the perfect height to rest your head on; you have zero problem crawling into the others lap or cuddling each other close when the world feels too dangerous to take on alone.

Who are the people that you can completely lose your mind with? The ones who won’t think twice if you open the door while wearing a flannel goose shirt, elmo footie pajama bottoms, and Godzilla slippers while The Sword in the Stone plays in the background, but instead meander in, sit down, and commentate on whether Madam Mim cheated during the wizard’s duel.

Who are the people who’s names flash across your phone screen, be it via text message or phone call, and you smile? The ones you put aside whatever activity it is you’re doing to answer, even if it’s just to send a stupid meme or a GIF of a smiling bunny.

Who are the people who get it when the trailer drops for a long awaited Marvel film that it’s a big deal, and immediately shoot you a message asking you for your reaction and thoughts? The ones that see things they know you love and take a moment to tell you because your excited reaction gives them more joy than the subject matter you’re discussing.

Who are the people who welcome your ideas with an open mind? Who hear your pitch for a crossover epic tale of dinosaurs and upperclass early 20th century aristocrats entitled ‘Jurassic Abbey’?

Who are these people in your lives? You have them, you know you do. Their faces and voices are coming to mind and your chest is glowing with warmth just thinking about them. They could be best friends, coworkers, cousins, siblings, parents, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, or even beloved pets. If you can’t think of these people, start looking for them! These are the ones we need most during these times. It’s rough and harsh, violence continuously erupts, but we can hold each other close in our hearts and work to make the other smile.

Find these people, keep them close, hold them tight, and appreciate them for what they are. I think we need them more than ever.

 

Follow me on twitter @JoyPearson for the further pitching of aristocratic paleontological TV dramas.

 

 

 

Difference vs Sameness

 

I am different. I have hot pink hair, I wear dramatic makeup, I listen to any song that can make me bounce up and down in my car seat with my hands flailing off the stereo. I’m insanely in love with shakespeare, while also having several guilty loves such as: The Fast and Furious film franchise, Gossip Girl, the Tinkerbell movies, and more girly manga books than I care to admit to. I’m obsessed with superhero films, but I find video games boring and obnoxious. I dive deep into comic books, and I love a juicy romance novel. I’ll cosplay as Harley Quinn on day one of Emerald City Comic Con, but on day two I’ll be Izabel from Saga. I have never wanted to fit into one box whenever it comes to preferences or tastes. I love being more than one thing, which is what makes me different.

Different scares people. When you look at Trump supporters, sexists, misogynists, homophobes, xenophobes, racists, and more you see that they are terrified of things that are different from them. I chalk it up to a lack of desire for learning and mind expansion. They don’t want to take the time to learn about why someone is different from them, they’d rather shrink back in fear and hide behind bible verses (which BTW is full of the most different shit you could find; a virgin undergoes immaculate conception, a snake chats up a nudist woman, a guy splits a body of water in half). They’re afraid to learn about different things because they love and desire sameness. They want everything to remain the same rather than change and expand into new ideas.

I embrace differences and diversity; there is a lack of love and compassion in sameness that drives me to be different from others and learn more about differences. I live to learn and know about the vast spectrum of humanity that is on this small planet. These haters who preach with cherry picked bible verses and stand behind a man who looks like a diseased corn ship are at the far FAR end of the spectrum (one that I have no desire to visit or learn from).

I love anyone who is about acceptance and the support of other beings, who keep their minds open and diverse. There is far more to learn from the different than there is from the same.

Ride the Wave

What do you do when your best friend isn’t talking to you? Well that’s gonna be different for every person in every situation. For some, it automatically means calling all your other closest comrades and letting the shit-talk commence. For some, it’s crying in a corner and saying “oh woe is me, I am worthless and the world hates me”. Then there are the real people.

The real people are the one who sit silently and wait. They contemplate silently their entire relationship with friends and reexamine where it all went tits up. It’s the real people who have to wait and grit their teeth with torturous patience as they dig and grip for any reason to wait and fix whatever it is they messed up.

I like to hope I am a real person. I think it’s cowardly to automatically turn friendships into battle fields the moment things get sticky. It’s easy to fall down that path and turn everything that was once beautiful flower fields into gnarly roots of dug up weeds as bitter wars are waged. I get tempted to curl up into a ball and cry. I often sob to my friends how much I don’t want to be this planet anymore, that I’d like to disconnect from society completely and live in my simple cabin in the woods surrounded by books and think about how everyone is out to get me and the world rejects my being.

But no, I aim to stay real. I go quiet for days, weeks at a time in contemplation as I wonder what happened. Then comes the real torture, the waiting. The patient waiting as you try to figure out what your friend wants and needs. The waiting isn’t for you, no. The waiting is for your friend; just because you have done your time thinking and contemplating doesn’t mean that they’re ready to go there as well. So you wait, let them do their time. That’s my challenge right now, waiting and letting them do their time.

So what can a person do while their best friend isn’t speaking to them? Well here’s what I’ve done:

-Organize my blu-ray collection by the Dewey Decimal System (it’s not as easy as you’d think. Or it’s just as hard as you think. Either way, it’s really hard to do).

-Stare at my completely stocked pantry and refrigerator and complain about not having doughnuts.

-Come up with the Canadian title counterparts to popular film titles (see my last blog post for the list).

-Rewatch Stranger things and pretend I’m not crying when Mike and Lucas fight each other.

I’m trying to come up with more productive, less pathetic sounding tasks to do. But you get the gist of it: Life sucks when best friends aren’t speaking to each other. But it’s real. It’s giving space and air when things have gotten too heated and rough for two people to deal with. It’s waiting the long arduous periods of silence in hopes that the next conversation will be the ice-breaker that will lead back to brighter days of laughter and inside jokes. It’s real because it’s love. It’s what friends do. It’s what anyone who cares for another person does. They wait and give the other space to breathe. Then, after you ride the wave and let time do it’s thing, you speak again.

Beauty Confidence

I have never been the girl who, when I walk into a crowded room, everyone notices. I don’t mean that in a “Oh woe is me, I’m so hideous and invisible.” Personally? I think I’m fucking gorgeous. I’ve never hated my looks at any point, except for the monthly “GOD I HATE MY BODY” period. I have a wonderful boyfriend who always makes me feel beautiful, and my friends and family have always made me feel beautiful and love.

So am I the girl who catches the attention of every gaze when she enters into the room? Well no. But I know that I can catch the attention of every person that matters to me, without fail. I think that’s what really matters to me when I think about my personal beauty and appearance. I love how I look, and the people who really matter to me do to. Call it vanity, I call it confidence.